Thirty nothing to thirty something

*dusting.. *dusting


Berhabuk sudah..

So its been a while, what else is new? huhu.

I am officially thirty something. Tadaaa.. nothing change. Really. Believe me. Please. Oh, yeah apart from being size S- challenge and nothing fits me, There is no changes that makes you cant recognize me. I am still the same.


*denial maybe.

 Miss my friends so much.. Would love a vacation. Researching places that are toddler- friendly.



Bye.

I would love to stay at home ( and doing nothing)

I've listened to red.fm for quite sometime now, love all the tunes. Especially during this hour where everyone prefer to befriend with their red pen and PCs.

Do you still remember how it likes to be a preschoolers? loooong before we know the word Pythagoras, those days are awesome. Nothing but playtime and friends and eating ice cream and hugs kisses from parents. Those warm feeling when you get a hug from our mom and dad at the end of the day was and still is indescribable. I get the same feeling that Ayra is feeling the same way now, and leaving her at her daycare makes my heart leap without joy for the next 7 hours of my time.


I envy those who can take the alternatives to be a stay-at-home mom. I love doing chores, cleaning and scrubbing and whatnot and most importantly I guess the feeling of closeness with children above it all. My mom is a great housewife. She still is until now, I cant compete with her. She can fold clothes faster (and nicer) she can cook tasty and comfort food, she even have added skills like sewing (she once saw me all of my raya kurung until I was a teen) and she also have this amazing strength of having all the chores done before noon, thats when she will take a little rest for prayer and nap and she'll be back in the game folding clothes by 3pm.


So, yeah at this time I prefer to stay at home. Maybe it just me tired of assessing marks talking.


Tara!

Spanking a Child

Oh, yes im back. It took me several months (or years) to come up with a new entry but now it seems like a staple diet. at least for the past few days.:)


Well, nothing much on work. I would love to write about parenting. Tell me, honestly where do we put the line between scolding a child and spank them? Does it come in a package?

 In my yester-years, I often receive that kind of package and I believe with a little of nag and spankies, what makes me what I am today, in a good sense I mean. Parents during our days was a loving monster where we love to hate them to love them. Yes, with that complexity we survived childhood, teens and also sometimes when life get tough we sometime seek for guidance from our parents, dont we?

Children nowdays (read: mine) often shows their resentment towards anything possible towards spanking. or scolding. or confrontation. They will detour the whole course by acting cute and saying lovely things to us so that they (hope) that we will forget the scolding part. Getting angry to a child is one thing, and getting them to do the right thing under some circumstances is much more difficult.

We Malaysian culture of humbleness makes it worse. One moment, we told our child not to talk to strangers, not to let people give an uncomfortable touch, do not whatnotmore. BUT, we gave them the look when they refuse to 'salam' a strange-looking uncle which we seldom met, We said 'tak baik la auntie tanya tu umur berapa' to them when they refuse to answer questions from an auntie that live abroad and dress strange enough to be considered to be a stranger.

Like, yeah what's that about?

It is like now when we are older...no, mature I mean, we are not supposed to hide behind our every faces to keep up with the politics at work. BUT, we sort of forced to play the game because being something else than what accustomed is somehow, bad for us.

I hope I can be a good parent that will guide children to be the best they can be, and not by what they are expected to be.

It will be hard, I know and I pray for the strength to go through that.

Quickie

Ok, quick update. Yesterday is my pre-melt down day. I dont know why and how can I get so stressful, but it was beyond repair. So I hope today stores a wee bit excitement for me.


Work that have been piled up, what with the markings and other errands that I am not so sure why it has to be done. I become this person that accept assessment from others because of the mere need of it. Well, as long as it does not consume me, so what's the harm?


I used to think and feel that I would suffocate myself with frustration and cry myself in the toilet, with all the pressures and expectations but hey, I am tougher than I thought I would. :)


Just keep the humor going. That's my secret.


Although I love the fact that writing or typing here makes me feel better (heck, Im smiling now I dont know why?) but I still have some marking to do. Maybe next time I will update on something more bimbo-ish.

You would like that, wouldnt you?


Tara~

A little newyear wishlist, I supposed.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahimm..


:).


Its already 2013. I am so happy and glad that I am still alive, today. I lost my 'voice' for blogging quite sometime now, but I learn that I behave normally insane and keeping my humor through things that I write, although I have no readers (i think). So, yeah maybe that can be my new year resolution for this year..to blog-raphy myself.


So, the 2013 list, so that I can have more holistic view on it..

1. To live life like a true Muslim. I beg myself this year not to miss any solat, fasting and sedekah more.

2. To love compassionately to everyone around me. And not to hold any grudges, sometime we just have to accept that people are different.. and naturally annoying.

3. To do work diligently and full-downheartedly.

4. To be happy. Sometime life can be so hard, that when we fail to see the good part of it, we would drown in our own misconception. So, yeah I want to think less about the world's problem and enjoy life more..

5. To live healthy. Does not mean I want to get thin as a stick, but shedding a few kilos wont kill. :) Eat profoundly, and go easy on sugar/salt/preservatives/chemicals/etc..

6. To keep all of my friends.

7. To be kind with animals. Except insects. that bite. or the one that eat furniture.

8.  To cherish my features before reaching those serum, lifters, enhancers and whatnot because life is that short.

9.  To finish what I have started. Projects, research, and dreams.

10. To still have a minute of two to write, it seems helping on my stress of overload assessment that I put off a while.


Oh, I have 2 more piles to go,

See you soon!

xoxo

This is The Voice!!

Morning.


Yeah I know its early, but it is not hurting to have a very early day right? Hehe. okay so anybody watched or follow The Voice religiously? I love to watch and see all of them sing, and they did sung their heart out. I wish I had their level of confidence and motivation so that I can 'perform' well in my class.Not that I am going to sing or anything, haha nothing like that. I rather prefer to get busted eating a buffet of foods than caught on singing.

I went to the SACC Mall yesterday after settling some banking errands in PKNS Shah Alam earlier. I had a lot of things pre-plan a day before; to shop a little for Ayra and buy some stuff for myself. I ended up buying nothing. It just like there is no desire to buy anything but everything was and still is pretty and on sale. Hmm.. maybe there is something wrong with me. It seems that my shopping-buds is missing.

I realize that they sell dermalogica in SACC and that they offer a facial too. Yippie! Ohh.. wait, the one that on discount is at the PKNS. Less than RM50 for a facial and they using dermalogica, which is good because their products are awesome! Ladies, please help yourself with a facial, or a full body massage and appear beautiful, fresh and smelling nice and come and see me and fill me in! Haha i love to hear good stories about beauty stuff and shopping.

Tara. Need to prepare for my classes for today.

Later!

Why does beauty exist?

See? I'm back already. I am free now until the late evening. There are still some works that need to be done, but that can wait.

A quick flashback;

1. Ayra is currently experiencing with her tantrums and she just love to scream loudly in between her parents conversation. I just dont know what to do sometimes. Most of the time, I would just ignore, but that seems not to be working.

2. I would love to have a mini break now, but my schedules says nay, not until February. So, yeah no vacay for me yet.


Its been a while since I have my proper beauty day. I am opt for much more simpler, quicker solutions now since the physical is expanding sideways; and the luxury of having monetary freedom to shop is now gone; my objectives of life evolves around my daughter instead. Result from this, you get me now; selekeh and whatnot.I am in this state of denial; and with the new phrases of bountiful, big is beautiful, voluptuous and more makes me wonder how we see beauty.

According to Jonah Lehrer (2011), saying that beauty is a particularly potent and intense form of curiosity. It’s a learning signal urging us to keep on paying attention, an emotional reminder that there’s something here worth figuring out. Art hijacks this ancient instinct:  Put another way, beauty is a motivational force that helps modulate conscious awareness. The problem beauty solves is the problem of trying to figure out which sensations are worth making sense of and which ones can be easily ignored.

Well, maybe that's a little more that we can digest, I guess. However, beauty portrays the image of clean, smelling nice and nice-looking.I reckon the fact that attractiveness does however lies on the eyes of the beholder. It is not like there is a benchmarking procedures on how we perceive beauty, you know what I mean..:)

So, any huu.. I am still finding the right moment, collect a large amount of money and time to spend or what we say; pamper myself with everything that makes me beautiful til my heart content.Hmmm.. wishful thinking..


Alamak, I have to do something first. Later continue ok? Tara!!

Walk the blog and blog the walk?

I was blogwalking earlier and stumble upon several entries that mentioned about tardiness. It seems that it give me a slap of realization (haha excuse the choice of words here) and made me wonder whatever happens to my blog.


So, how are you blog? are you nice and comfy here? I pity you dear blog, I should have spend more time with you. Keh keh keh.. I am a lil bit nutty nowadays, not because of the work and families ( that have ALWAYS be my source of lunaticness) it just that I am too lazy.

I will blog more later. Some students need some TLC.



Cheers!

What is with me nowadays?

Hello blog.


For most of the time, I don't feel the need to blog anymore nowadays. Maybe because everything can be done through FB and twit, but with that also I seldom update enough.


For most of things happen around me everyday, I like to keep it to myself, I have learn from several situations where expressing our ideas or opinions can be a very dangerous thing, whats with me being in this sector.


I wish I could be the real me, but to think of it I don't think I need anything influence me to be anybody that I'm not supposed to be. Sometimes, it is safer to be reserved.


Ok, done with the babbling.


The semester just ended, meaning there will be no more classes for the next 8-9 weeks and also there are tons of papers need to be assess; finals, projects, tests, assignments. Why do I choose to be in this position, I wonder myself sometimes. (hehe) but still when this thought came, I will start to count my blessings.


Alhamdulillah for all the things that I have now.


It is now a year that I have been in this industry. What I can say is there is still a lot of things that I need to learn, to relearn. Every steps taken, and every lectures given reminded me of old times with friends, where time is taking for granted and classes is just another activities to fill up our days. I am still having some difficulties in my awkwardness where my former lecturers have become colleagues; but so far its all good.


I have to work on my professionalism.


 Life besides works however have deteriorated, since I am still busy scheduling and juggling most works at a time, I hope that I can have a short break after this. I miss outing with friends.


That's that for now, I need to get back to my papers. Students' handwriting can make one have a headache. Sigh.





It is now Syaaban,  and I hope good things awaits my family and I for now, and later in the future, and forever. I pray for a better future, health and wealth. Amiinn.

*Jadikanlah aku  orang yang bersyukur Ya Allah, sekiranya timbul riak atau takbur di hati ini Kau kikiskanlah dan buanglah ia jauh, dan gantikanlah dengan jiwa yang tenang dan sentiasa merendahkan hati disisiMu.Kau ampunkanlah dosa-dosaku Ya Allah, Kau bantulah aku untuk terus tabah atas ujian-ujianMu. Sesungguhnya Kaulah Tuhan yang Maha Berkuasa Semesta Alam.

Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin

A and B and C

Let me see, I have several things on my mind right now.

A. Ayra

As she is nearly getting to that *"TT" stage in her life, she is now getting smarter by mental coordination ( know where to put things at familiar places, know when to say thanks after getting something etc..) and also physical coordination (dancing, running, imitating how her grandparents walk and talk, etc). I need to prepare myself as the growth of my sweet daughter highly depends on the influence of the parents.


Gosh.


I felt sooooo adult.

*tdma



B. Birthday

Yeah, yeah I have hit that 3 series. No longer in my teens and some (not me) say that I am far inside the adulthood circle. Funny, because I don't feel that I am 'adult' enough to deserve that title.

It is supposed to be a celebration, extravaganza all sort but I choose to mellow it down a bit this year, to symbolized the adulthoodness and level of maturity that I am supposed to be on.


C. Classes

So far, my classes and students serves me okay. I dont dwell on the negatives part because perfection does not comes in with structured elements.


Katanya.


Haha.



Okay, thats that for now.


Smile always people.



*TT is an abb. for Terrible Two, this is the phase where the child is experiencing and experimenting with thier feelings; anger, sad, happy, excited, gloomy and whats not.

:-)

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I am bored.

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help me.
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"You can heal the world with your mind" - India Arie

India Arie is an artist back when I'm young, whom supposedly to be an overnight sensation (happen loooong before we have idols and AFs).

I look at her as a groovy, mismatch fashionistas but listen to her as if she is sent by heaven. She speaks through her lyrics and never failed to touched my heart.

This is a song for every girl who's
Ever been through something
She thought she couldn't make it through
I sing these words because
I was that girl too
Wanting something better than this
But who do I turn to?

Now we're moving from the darkness into the light
This is the defining moment of our lives

'Cause you're beautiful like a flower
More valuable than a diamond
You are powerful like a fire
You can heal the world with your mind

There is nothing in the world that you cannot do
When you believe in you, who are beautiful
Yeah you, who are brilliant
Yeah you, who are powerful
Yeah you, who are resilient

This is a song for every girl who
Feels that she is not special
'Cause she don't look like a supermodel Coke bottle
The next time the radio tells you to shake your moneymaker
Shake your head and tell them, tell them you're a leader

Now we're moving from the darkness into the light
This is the defining moment of our lives

'Cause you're beautiful like a flower
More valuable than a diamond
You are powerful like a fire
You can heal the world with your mind

There is nothing in the world that you cannot do
When you believe in you, who are beautiful
Yeah you, who are brilliant
Yeah you, who are powerful
Yeah you, who are resilient

There's something worth listening to.

Cant get enough of it.

The thing with money is that we will never get enough of it. Some situation may add to the confirmation to this statement.



Situation 1.

Venue Sunway Pyramid. The hooded jacket that have been a big craze for the ladies ( refer to JLo Music vid, Jenny from the block) that year it is sold for Rm250++ . But this year, nearly 10 years from that the same pattern, but with some improvization of bejewelled hoodie; the price is not less than RM500.

wtf.


Situation 2

I learn that the more older we get, our facial regime will be add one bottle at a time. From the basic wash, tone, moisturize.. now we have wash, tone, impurities solution, dark circle cream, anti-wrinkle, serums, oil control moisturizer and the list can go on and on but still the candles on our cake increasing one stick at a time and also a line a year for the face. So, where is the money goes and where is the results?

nan ado.

Situation 3.

Last 5 years, I wish that my salary is a few hundred dollars more. And now, I STILL wish my salary is a few hundred dollars more.



Dulu nak Carlo Rino, sekarang nak Coach.
Dulu pakai Vincci, sekarang paling busuk pun Charles and Keith.


Perempuan kan?


Do we get tired of wanting more?




Never.

Hot in Cleveland (and Puncak Perdana).

It has been a hot sunny day for me here. The air-conditioner is broken (again and still for the last 2 months), forcing me to get myself a desk fan.

So now there will be no i-feel-hot-sweaty-excuses for not to doing the marking and submit it on time, heh?


Happy is what I need now. Happy and money that is.



Talking about money, I can still remember during my yesteryear, working as a library officer day and night (were on shift schedules) and on how I dream to have a tad bit of a few hundred dollars more monthly.

The dream have become intense year after year, and its driven me to take a leap in taking the chance to further my studies. Those days.. :) (through thick and thin.)

Someone from my previous employment organization had told me, if I felt any resentment crawling up slowly into my soul, please remember to look back in your past and count your blessings.



That thought have always made my day a little bit sunnier. :)


Anyway.


Everywhere now people start to judge poor 17 A's Amelina. Can you people just let it be? There are tons of teenagers like her going through similar situation but since they don't mark the world with achievement, and still post all sort of their happy pictures, well they do not being criticized as bad, don't they?


She just want to lead her life, so let her be. When she achieve such tremendous excellence, the whole nation wanted to share every piece of her. But now when she just being herself by having a fun uni time,


who are you to judge?

Sorry my dear

Dear Blog,


Im so sorry I havent pour my contentment for quite sometime. Not that I have forget about you,it just adjusting to a new career, that literally draining me to do anything else.

So blog, now that the semester is nearly coming to the end, I had some time to spend it for you.


you must not feel any loneliness from now. There are too much to tell you.


Bye, for now.

Jowm Join Bloglist Eyryn Bercerita !

Hello. Its been awhile, I know. I'm swamped by notes-making activities everyday now, not that I am complaining but it does driving me mad some other days.


Ok, I have been tagged by a good friend of mine, Syuqri. So here goes.

she said that whoever join will get some prizes (the due date it 7th October, 2011)So I seriously dont think I am one of them. She got a lovely, purple blog though.. Good Luck babe!


So, here I am writing this down in between classes.. Its have been 4 weeks now, and so far I am still overwhelmed with structuring lectures and also other stuff in between. Since I am yet to enjoy the fruits of my labor, my mission to get those handbags and shoes are still on. I hope by the end of this year, I would have enjoyed more (fruits of my labor, that is.)


Ayra is getting bigger. She is now the proud owner of 8 tooths, shoulder length hair and also a flexible limbs. She now taken an interest to dance, she loves gummy bear song and mickey mouse hot dog song, she giggles when I tickle her feet.


I miss Ayra.

laughter is the best medicine..

Thanks to Cik Na for this email.


Enjoy!!!!

Dad to Tintumon: When I beat you how did you control your anger?
Tintumon: I start cleaning the toilet.
Dad: How does that satisfy you?
Tintumon: I clean it with your tooth brush.

*******

Dad: Do u know how 2 swim?
Tintumon: No.
Dad: A dog is better than u! It can swim.
Tintumon: So do u know how 2 swim?
Dad: For sure!
Tintumon: Then, what's the difference between u and a dog?

********

Tintumon called FM radio & said
"I've found a purse with Rs.15000/- a credit card & an ID card of Mr.Mani, No.13,Halls Rd, Kannur….
Radio jocky : How honest ….so you want to return his purse…?
Tintumon : no……. i just wanted to dedicate a sad song for him…

*******

Father and tintumon were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo.
The father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and tintumon was taking it all in with a serious expression.
"Dad," tinumon said finally, "if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up …"
"Yes, son?" the father said expectantly.
"What bus should I take home?" Tintumon finished.

*******

Tintumon was asked to write a sign board for the traffic near the school.
He wrote"Drive carefully! Don't kill the students, wait for the teachers"

*******

Prof.: Chemical symbol of Barium?
Tintumon:BA
Prof.: For Sodium?
Tintumon:NA
Prof.: What will we get if 1 atom of Barium & 2 atoms of Sodium combines?
Tintumon:"BANANA"


********

The principal was annoyed by the noise during the assembly program.
“There seem to be several idiots in the auditorium this morning,Wouldn’t it be better to hear one at a time?”
Tintumon shouted, “Okay – you start.”

*******

Teacher: Imagine u r a millionaire. Write ur life history.
Tintumon didn’t write.
Teacher: why are you not writing?
Tintumon : I’m waiting 4 my secretary 2 take notes….

*******The End*******

Quickie

A quickie note for today



a. I just witnessed a student in a library with a walker refusing help offered to plug in his laptop cable. Such determination should be admired by others.


b. I am spending my time in the library rather than my room because the room is so cold plus, here I can catch up with my reading and preparation for teaching.

c. A small gestures of kindness always diregard by other but the slightest mishaps can be a big juicy thing for other and everyone. Heh, such incidents surely put us in awkward moments.

d. I love the fact that tommorow is a public holiday, I am looking forward to spend time with Ayra every day nowdays.

e. Just heard from person from my past receiving a bundle of joy yesterday. I pray for thier happiness and blissful family.. I am happy for the good news!

f. I felt that there is something missing in my life, but I dont know what is the thing is. I hope I can shed off this feeling because I am in sore need of positive energy around me.


Ok. Bye for now.

Ramadhan Al-Mubarak

I think it has been quite a while Im jotting a few lines here. So, a few things lingered my mind now..



a) London's riot scares me. I pity Asyraf and I pray for his speedy recovery. Love the statement from his mom though. Tough family. I believe this is the great challenge during Ramadhan they have to endour.


b) I never knew that Lewre is a Malaysian. His quote of "It is not your hair or dress that carries you, it is always have been your shoes." Talk about speadvertise. hehe

c) I miss my ex-classmates UiTM and girlfriends from Sri Aman. Should put together a breaking fast gathering soon.

d) I haven't have the time (and money) yet to shop for Raya. Only have the opporturnity to send to the tailors some materials. I think that should be enough for me. Let me concerntrate on Ayra's part. Thats more fun to shop to.

e) I am now getting anxious and nervous at the same time, as the date of the next semester is getting closer..


Tara. Will continue later.

Toilet thinker or toilet reader

Warning

This entry contains some irrelevant info that may cause reader nausea implication

Are you a toilet thinker, or reader? I dont know whether it is just me or anybody else but for as long as I can remember, I have been a proud toilet reader. It is just give me the liberty of freedom, free of anything else other than the business that have been done and a book to buried into. In my case, I always have some reading materials in the loo; be in a newspapers, a catalogue from the postbox, phamplets from the shopping malls. If i have to go and there is no reading material around, I will start reading any packaging info of any detergent, shampoos, bathgel whatsoever as long as I can read something.

Is it a sickness? I dont think so. By nature, I am a restless person. I need to be doing something to content the timeframe if not I will .. I dont know, I never had one moment where I havent doing something. By this including sleeping and eating and watching tv..hehehe

I thought that I will change as soon as I get married, but its a habit that hard to break. It is handy though, because I bring all the notes for all my exams (sorry for those that have been loaning my notes, now you know why there are water stains , haha) and maybe that is my escape time from the world.

Since now my husband and I are actively looking for our own home, this particular area is very crucial for me. I need a bigger space in the toilet as I love it to be my own private area.

Room for mags and books like this would be enough to makes me happy..

Tara~