To succumb the fact of me getting into parenthood (motherhood), I have done research (ceh!) by questioning every people possible that I think have the relevant experience. Little that feedbacks have done me justice, except for one simple answer, follow my instict.
By following what I thought is the best way to woo and soothes my baby girl is a great challenge. What with me juggling with dued assessments and projects and this Raya holiday jolted it back to square one. How I wish I am a superwoman, with the power to multitask every single thing at once.
To schedule my activities between breastfeeding, diaper changing, bonding with baby Ayra and doing assesments, articles reading and project solving have given me a view of extraordinary life. I am humbly thought that only a strong will and purpose-oriented mind can do such thing at a great length.
I envy mothers that are excel with their jobs, it may looks simple and routine enough to go through the day but it is a known fact that it also can be tiry, hectic and chaos. For this I have prayed silently, that maybe I could be granted sum of the positive aura to go through the day.
With assignments pilling up (and starting need a very big strength and time) I often afraid to neglect my responsibility as a main provider to the little ones. Sure, the husband always there when I need him the most, but he aint got the storage of milk nor the freedom of time on weekdays to attend to baby Ayra needs.
I am still searching for the momentum to juggle this life of mine, after all at the end of it when every chaotic moments ends, seeing baby Ayra smiling and soundedly asleep plus a good set of term papers being done and neatly print and combed-bind, there are this spark in me that whispers that this is all worth it.